THEY SAY YOU’RE LOOKING TOO SKINNY

I’ve just watched an interesting video from Philip McClusky—wait, stop! Before you watch the video, read here first.  This video inspired me to write out something that I’ve been feeling, thinking for quite some time.

I used to weigh 225 pounds.  I got there by forgetting what I knew about nutrition, at least as far as it concerned me.  I mean, I could still counsel my nutrition clients and see them through to the goals they had set, but I was just “big-boned” (there are so many other euphemisms for “huge”, “a whale”, “fat” – even my orthopedist avoided the “FAT” word by telling me that I was a “big girl”).

One day, I just got it all together – a combination of raw and low-carb, and the pounds came off.  It took me a year to take off 100 lbs.

I will start by saying that I was extremely fortunate to be in the care of a wonderful chiropractor at the time.  When she noticed that I had lost some weight (I’d gone from a size 20 to a size 12), I asked her to tell me if she thought I was getting anorexic-looking, and she agreed to do so.  (to this date, she has never told me that I look too thin).

Be that as it may, when I dropped below the teens in sizes, I started to hear from close friends that I looked sick. Fortunately, I was sufficiently goal-oriented (and sane) to notice that those who complained about my looks were still where I had been when I started my journey down the scale.  (It seems funny to me that people would never dare tell someone that they have put on a ton of weight and look awful, but they think nothing of telling you that you are too skinny).

My only fans were my chiropractor, my mother, and my sister.  Even my PCP suggested that I was too thin (we are talking here about a rail-thin, unhappy-looking middle-aged Korean from Korea woman).  I challenged her, telling her that I would like to be as svelte as she was, and she told me that American women can’t do that (oh racist so-and-so… I bit my tongue so hard it almost fell off)

My best friend stopped talking to me.  That could have been that I was just so excited about being skinny (I was about a size 4 when that happened) that I was talking too much about clothes and trying to get her to try what had gotten me to where I was (last I saw of her, she was a square – about 5ft tall and 5ft wide)

My other good friend, who had put on a lot of weight right around the time I had (call it weight-opause), was incredibly graphic, showing me where I had lines on my face that she thought shouldn’t be there, even though her beefy face had the same sort of lines.

I finally learned to say to people who complained that “I looked good” (my assessment of what I saw in the mirror), by saying that I looked to thin, or I looked sick, “Thank you.  I’m working on this.”

That became fun, as their  critical faces became confused.

My chiropractor never said a word about my being too thin until I put some pounds back on and she asked me what that was on my stomach.  (Bless her soul, she understood my paranoia, and had found a way to tell me that I was “going back to hell” if I didn’t turn things around)

I took off 100 lbs 10 years ago.  I have had most of them off for all that time.  About 2 years ago, I drifted up 20 lbs. and it has taken me that past 2 years to really get them off. (interestingly, in the time that I have been fighting those 20 lbs, I have had comments about how I had put on weight)

So, here is my take on how these things go.

When you start to lose weight (if that is what you want to do), the people around you who are heavy are going to complain to you, and criticize your efforts.  (you just have to keep your head on straight and remember your goals)

If you lose weight and meet your goals and are happy, then, if you put on 10 or 20 lbs, people around you are going to complain about that.

Face it.  Your body size is what you want.  You cannot expect much support when you are taking off weight, unless you are working with a kind friend who has already gone that route (then you may find yourself dealing with a drill sergeant), or a nutritionist.  Even doctors are scary territory – if you take off a lot of weight without their permission, they can get weird on you. (the interesting exception for me was that my PCP’s husband, who was also in the practice, and whom I occasionally saw, asked me how I had taken off the weight because he wanted to take off some weight)

If you want to take off some weight, do it, knowing that you are right. Don’t listen to anyone else.  (People around you who should take off weight are going to be critical, because you are doing what they want to do, or because you are changing and they are not). What you need to understand is that there are any number of saboteurs out there who don’t want to see you succeed, for whatever reason. They may be in your own family, they may be your best friends, or whatever.  Just be aware that they are out there, and recognize when they step in.  Don’t let them stop you.

Get with a doctor who understands the work  you are undertaking and already thinks you need to lose weight.

A raw vegan diet, particularly one high in protein and low in carbs, really can help you lose weighteasily and quickly.

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